Friday, January 23, 2015

Screwdrivers ... In My Purse

There are days when I realize that "normal" really isn't normal.  That happens both in good and bad ways.  Today was one of those days to an extreme.

As I sit here typing, I just finished up some work that I planned to do as soon as I returned from a day of meetings ... and then rest. JUST REST.

My daughter was at a friend's house, I probably could have asked the friend's parent to bring her back when the evening was done. I thought it might be a wonderful opportunity for sleep.

NOT.

As I got in my car, loaded down with the extra lunches that had not been claimed (YAY! Feed my family - and another family! I love to share blessings) ... a call came from the school principal. My daughter had skipped her afternoon class. :-(

Thankfully, I was already on the way to her friend's house with treats galore. But instead of only dropping off food, I had to pick up my daughter and start the process of crisis intervention.  Sadly, it started with rounds and rounds of lies (both my daughter and her friend).

It escalated.

I knew she had some form of technology. I had been secretly scouting for days but couldn't catch her with it. But today? I heard those familiar buzzing sounds and it was not from my phone!

When we arrived at home, there were several discussions that had taken place. The most notable was the window of time for her to return devices with questions unasked.  When she said she had to go to the bathroom and I told her I would hold her backpack while she did ... she balked. In fact, she almost got physical over it!  I told her to trust me, I was just holding it. That's all.  Eventually, she acquiesed.

Of course, that was a huge red flag. When she returned and tried to go to her room, I told her I needed to search her backpack. A physical wrestling match followed with her mantra of "LEAVE ME ALONE" echoing through the air.

Ryan, my practically adopted son (who makes me feel a little more whole since my own son is so far away) was there and tried to talk a little bit of sense into the situation. Then he offered to call the police.  I was glad ... gave him my phone with the non-emergency number ... and she finally let go.  Of course, there was a stolen phone in the bag.

A man assisted her truancy. I will be filling out a police report yet tonight.  But it gets even more dramatic.  The summary with my daughter is that after the initial situation diffused, she turned into a hugging, happy girl who didn't seem to connect with the former atrocities.

So after experiencing the full spectrum of my daughter ... which is VERY broad (Borderline Personality Disorder is what professionals are diagnosing lately) ... I was finally catching up on work quite late when frantic doorbell rings and knocks broke through the night.

A neighbor girl was seeking refuge. Her mother had been cheating and her father found out. The boyfriend was there with a gun. He knocked her (the girl) down and then told her to leave. She found a haven with us. Naturally, we called the police. Thankfully, I have a bit of history with crisis! It came in handy tonight.

We kept her safe. I periodically went outside to eavesdrop and "glare" at the perpetrator. I probably shouldn't have done that. But after the police arrived in many, many cars I felt even more empowered. LOL. But I just watched. And when a few of the cars left, I figured it was safe. I walked to the nearest cop car and told them that "Lilly" was safe with me. Later, her father came to get her.

And then I thought.

I have many blessings to count. I don't have boyfriend/husband concerns. I don't have anyone crazy with a gun after me (that I know of). I grew up in a home where things like this didn't happen. And I know I won't have an environment like that for my kids.

My heart breaks.

This sweet girl ... she was so scared. No one knew. And all of a sudden she is faced with her mother's "boyfriend" wielding a gun. He knocked her down and then told her to leave.  Our doorbell started ringing incessantly at that point.

I am so glad I am well-versed in crisis.

We kept her safe. We counted our blessings.  We prayed for her.

My heart is soft toward those who need healing and restoration ... my own issues are significant, but I don't know what my new friend Lilly has had to experience.  I pray for her. I hope you do, too.


WAIT A WHOLE DARN SECOND!!!! I didn't get back to my subject!!!!  Did you know that I travel with screwdrivers in my purse? They are essential.

My daughter, who has been suicidal and exhibited risky behavior, has to have pills, sharp things, technology, and even tools locked in a closet.  It has not been quite the anticipated answer for our situation as she has learned how to use a screwdriver to open the bathroom closet - locked for her own good.

So ... in a temporary effort to keep her from entering my room at all, much less my bathroom with the coveted closet, I will lock my door from the interior and carry screwdrivers to regain access to my own living space.

*sigh*

But it will change.  I belive that!  I NEED THAT!

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