R—Restoration

In September of 2023, I started a journey of reclaiming my home. I prayed and tucked scriptures into the four corners of my property and every door. This one pictured was the only one that remained. 

Psalm 126:4–6 (NIV)
Restore our fortunes Lord.... Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.

By unknown providence, I picked up a wooden hand-carved plate at an estate sale that illustrated the Bible verse. When I took communion for the first time in my semi-restored home, this was my bread plate (the purpose for which I bought it). I didn't realize until later that it matched the Bible verse! 

We all have our stories that involve great loss. We go out weeping. Hopefully we carry seed to sow, which I view as anything from acts of service to support of any kind given to others. My hope is that we keep moving forward through tears. It is possible to defeat discouragement and stand strong! Surely there is a reward when we rebuild.

It makes me think of a verse in Ephesians (which also happens to be a part of the etymology of "restore" below):

Ephesians 6:13–14 (NKJV)
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore ... 

Sometimes standing is all one can do! And sometimes it can knock you down. That's what happened to me. The same month that an all-out effort was put in the works to restore my ravaged home, my brother died. I had been traveling back and forth from Oklahoma to Minnesota to help with his care after our father died three years earlier. I stood, but barely.

We waited to bury his ashes until his birthday in April, which is helpful in the extreme North Dakota winters and digging a hole in the family graveyard there. That's when I felt like my feet were knocked out from beneath me. Energy was zapped. I could barely work. And eventually I encountered a health crisis that gave me a reason to drop clients and truly rest. Euphoria in that release lasted a day or two. Then the rest of the journey began. 

I am writing this blog post half a year later. While both journeys of restoration continue, I am able to look back and see how fortunate I am to have not ended up learning of health conditions on the other side of an emergency room experience—or worse yet, not at all and simply died alone in my home. My doctor and I recently had a conversation about the the stakes I unknowingly navigated. 

That's completely due to the Lord's hand on my life. He has preserved me!

But back to restoration, regardless of the kind of restoration (health, home, etc.) indicates to me that something good was lost and is now given back or built back. I keep a newsletter pinned on my corkboard that shared a glimpse of the work involved to restore an apartment that was so trashed no one else would buy it. The minister shared Greek words and gave Biblical meanings to it all. (I happened to find the online version here.) What stood out to me was "rescue" and "one's return to safety and soundness." That's one thing I am immensely thankful for!

So in an attempt to wrap up what could be an even longer post, I pray for each one who may come across these words while in the midst of pain and tears. May you stand and be made firm again and again and again and again—however long it takes.

restore (verb) re·​store ri-ˈstȯr 

transitive verb

1 : give back, return

2 : to put or bring back into existence or use

3 : to bring back to or put back into a former or original state : renew

4 : to put again in possession of something

restoration (noun) res·​to·​ra·​tion ˌre-stə-ˈrā-shən 

1 : an act of restoring or the condition of being restored: such as

   a : a bringing back to a former position or condition : reinstatement

   b : restitution

   c : a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition

   d : the replacing of missing teeth or crowns

2 : something that is restored 

     especially : a representation or reconstruction of the original form (as of a fossil or a building)

3 (capitalized) 

   a : the reestablishing of the monarchy in England in 1660 under Charles II

   b : the period in English history usually held to coincide with the reign of Charles II but sometimes to extend through the reign of James II

I also really like what I found on etymonline.com:

restore** (v.)

c. 1300, restoren, "to give back," also, "to build up again, repair; renew, re-establish; free from the effects of sin; bring back to a former and better state," from Old French restorer, from Latin restaurare "repair, rebuild, renew." This is from re- "back, again" (see re-) + -staurare, not attested by itself but also in instaurare "to set up, establish; renew, restore," etc., from PIE root *sta- "to stand, make or be firm."

From late 14c. as "to cure, heal, bring back to a vigorous state;" of objects, beliefs, etc., "bring back to an original state or condition," 1670s. Related: Restored; restoring.

If anyone would like to see some moments from my home restoration, I happened to make some updates on TikTok (which hopefully will remain accessible for a long time to come)!

• The empty shell
• A year(-ish) later

*"restore" and "restoration." Merriam-Webster.com. (22 April 2025).
**"restoration." Etymonline.com. (24 April 2025)

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Q—Quadrivium (Crossroads)

Today I experienced a quadrivium!

Quadrivium* : an old word for a crossroads, literally a place where four roads meet. A place where three roads meet, incidentally, is a trivium. (A quadrivium was also a course offered at medieval universities, in which students learned the four “mathematical arts”: arithmetic, geometry, astronomy, and music.)

**Latin, literally ‘the place where four roads meet’ (in late Latin ‘the four branches of mathematics’), from quadri- ‘four’ + via ‘road’. 

I was at the house of a friend who leads a prayer group online. (She is a quad-plus-trivium herself, but that's another story!) I shared the link to her prayer group as we started, and a friend from Wisconsin happened to join. She told me privately, "I got your name in prayer and then the Word GRIT over and over...like new grit I saw.... Bless you!!!"

grit** /ɡrit/ (noun)

1 : small loose particles of stone or sand.

2 : courage and resolve; strength of character.

(verb) : move with or make a grating sound.

As I read her words, I also felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to spend time with the word grit and that it connected with the word grid as well. Because I'm a nerd, I also checked Merriam-Webster and found that I liked the additional elements of their definition: 

4*** : firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger

What a joy to have God drop me into the heart of a praying person! To have that person be one with several connections is extra special, and I initially didn't realize how many connections we had! I received that word gladly, even though it may carry an element of warning that I will need grit to get through a difficult time. But hey, difficult times have been par for the course, so that's nothing new!

Before I sat down to share with my friend that I was going to dig into that word a bit, I shared what the Holy Spirit nudged me about. She surprised me by saying, "I saw grid too, but grit came out in tongues." What?! How cool is that?

grid** /ɡrid/ (noun)

1 : a framework of spaced bars that are parallel to or cross each other; a grating.

2 : a network of lines that cross each other to form a series of squares or rectangles.

(verb) : put into or set out as a grid.

As soon as I looked up grid, I remembered sparks of revelation involving a blueprint like a sieve that lifted up out of sand. As it rose, most _____ (I asked Google what a word was for small particles of sand. It replied: Grit. LOL) ... so most grit fell through the open spaces, and what remained was the pattern of the blueprint on the grid, so to speak. It was more than a grid shape. It was a personalized pattern and path that was revealed with the sifting and shaking. I knew as it rose that the blueprint contained not just my own design but the connections and intersections of others.

The blueprint moments were several and it's still a word that perks me up when it comes by the Spirit. Now I want to sort through journals and find them. I think I even marked some as things began to shift 10 years ago. Now just the time to find them! This is a good spark for me to remember and start to schedule time for things like these (researching my own spiritual growth).

While these words grit and grid floated through my mind, I was surprised to see this on social media: 

@chaseJarvis and he seems to have a lot to say about GRIT!

Now back to quadrivium for the Q-word of the day.

As conversation continued, this friend turned out to have more connections than I originally knew! We are connected through a ministry organization started by my aunt and uncle, Association of Faith Churches and Ministries. With the live group I shared, we discovered a resonance regarding prayer. As we continued to chat, not only was there the Spirit moment with grid and grit, but to strengthen the prayer side, she learned to pray at my original church in Minneapolis, Living Word Christian Center, and specifically sat under the prayer leader at the time, who is now the husband of the online prayer group leader whose link I shared! So my friend learned to pray and to lead prayer there, and I was also there (I think earlier) and am only now reconnecting with all these people with original roots in the same place!

It is amazing to me how roads once traveled can intersect once again. And for that I am immensely grateful!

*"quadrivium." Mental Floss. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/64012/40-quirky-q-words-add-your-vocabulary (20 April2025)

**Per Oxford Languages via Google. (20 April 2025)

***Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “grit,” accessed April 20, 2025, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/grit.

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L—Largesse (Merriam-Webster Word of the Day on February 1, 2019)

I hired a team to help me handle an overwhelming situation, and had to leave when my brother died. They had already informed me that it worse than they thought and prepared me for almost everything to be gone, similar to their clients with house fires.

My first spark of hope came via text message while in a restaurant with my remaining immediate family (except for my daughter). We were in Minnesota taking care of my brother's belongings while my own were being piled into dumpsters back in Oklahoma. 

I sat at a table eating burgers my son made in the restaurant's kitchen (his job at the time) when I heard a ping and read the words, "The piano can be saved." Tears overtook my words, and I replied with a series of hearts.

When the hired team was done, I was left with this:

Fall 2023

That's where rebuilding my home life started.

I took to playing designer. What did I want? Colors? Floors? Style? Bit by bit I settled in and discovered what I liked. "Modern organic" was a term I adopted at one point. Being a Christian, I involved the Lord in the process, but He didn't seem to have an opinion on those elements. All He said was that it would be a house of kindness. And honestly, that's where almost everything came from—the kindness of people's hearts.

First came a sturdy bed, leather couch, and matching recliner from my mom and step-dad. I had never owned a recliner! And it came just after I had accepted another bed from a ministry connection. Laughable, but also helpful as I was able to sleep in one while the other was getting set up, and I now have a guest room. 

Then I found a rug at ReStore (for my living room) along with a seconhand dresser, small table, and chair. My bedroom because a peaceful haven where I could sleep and have coffee by my corner windows overlooking the back yard. 

My parents returned with a cool modern lamp and a family table that folds down. A friend gave me his retro lamp which just happened to complement the modern one. My church found donations of all kinds from bedding to food and even a small couch!

I prepared for a desk in the middle of the livingroom and bought a standing desk topper on ultra clearance. Odd? Yes. But I'm a writer, and I wanted to work where I had a stellar view. This new life wouldn't include housing anyone else, so I made it all about ME! LOL. (That's been a hard thing, actually, but I'm liking it now.) While waiting for the big desk, I had a thought to set up the topper and use a meditation cushion to sit and write. 

The "zen desk" became my favorite place. I liked it so much that I kept it as is! I now have two more desks, the first from a fellow ghostwriter and her husband which is my official office desk (the nicest I've ever had!), and the second, a salvage item from before that took a little elbow grease and is now in my former dining room, which is the most roomy workspace and gathering place when grandkids come over.

Spring 2025

Today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Everywhere I look, I have SO MUCH to be grateful for—first the piano that was saved (it was originally my grandparents' on my dad's side) and then for the great generosity that filled my home up once again.

When I saw the word largesse, it made me think of the abundant kindness and generosity that has come my way in the last year and a half. I happened to see it today when I went to merriam-webster.com on my phone. As I started to type, the URL came up from a word of the day in 2019!

largesse* (noun) lahr-ZHESS

1 : liberal giving (as of money) to or as if to an inferior; also : something so given

2 : generosity

The word largesse, which also can be spelled largess, has been part of the English language since at least the 13th century. It derives via Anglo-French from the Latin word largus, meaning "abundant" or "generous." Largus is also the source of our word large. As far back as the 14th century, we used the word largeness as a synonym of largesse (meaning "liberal giving"), but largeness was also at that same time being used more frequently as it is now: to refer to physical magnitude and bulk rather than to magnanimity.

In the spirit of discovering gratitude, I have been overwhelmed to look around me and see the largesse of family, friends, church, and God. This truly is a house of kindness.

The piano itself has a deeper story of kindness and generosity, so I'll save it for the letter P!

*"largesse." Merriam-Webster.com. (1 February 2019).

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G—Grace, Gifts, and Gratitude—No, GENTLE (warrior)!

I was waylaid when I got to this page. Suddenly the things to write seemed huge, and my energy seemed nonexistent. I've indulged naps again and have been concerned about my health and pushing it too far by manufacturing things to do.

I came across this little portion of God's words to me and decided to yield my efforts more fluidly to what He is doing in me:

Sink yourself into the slow present. Yield & flow like Iona, the gentle act of service & surrender, breathing into the day, the open listening, inner & outer reflection, the willingness to shift into the uncommon.

The Lord has referred to me as "gentle warrior" in recent years. This is where I should take a cue and focus on what He has placed in front of me!

August 9, 2022 in San Marcos La Laguna

gentle* (adjective) gen·​tle ˈjen-tᵊl

1 a : free from harshness, sternness, or violence
   b : tractable, docile
2 : soft, delicate
3 : moderate
4 a : belonging to a family of high social station
   b : honorable, distinguished
        specifically : of or relating to a gentleman
   c : kind, amiable
        —used especially in address as a complimentary epithet
   d : suited to a person of high social station
e (archaic) : chivalrous

noun
: a person of gentle (see gentle entry 1 sense 4a) birth or status

verb
gentled; gentling ˈjent-liŋ ˈjen-tᵊl-iŋ
transitive verb
1 a : to make (an animal) tame and docile
   b : to make gentler
   c : mollify, placate
   d : to stroke soothingly : pet
2 : to raise from the commonalty** : ennoble
intransitive verb : to become gentle

warrior*** (noun) ˈwȯr-yər, ˈwȯr-ē-ər
: a person engaged or experienced in warfare
broadly : a person engaged in some struggle or conflict

*"gentle." Merriam-Webster.com. (9 April 2025).
** people without special rank or position; common people.
*** "warrior." Merriam-Webster.com. (9 April 2025).

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F—The Many F Words

Today I'll start with the phrase fill in the blanks.

But I also want to explore words like:

freedom
fallacy
fiction
find (a cause--or something to say)
filibuster
fervent
fallow
fruit of the Spirit/spirit
forgiveness : letting go of hurt
fear : overcoming with courage
festivals:  celebrating God's goodness
flood : God's promise in the rain
faith : trusting God's promises

Now that I've thought out loud (also with additional help from "Hey, Google!" and its result of Bible words for kids, the ones with short definitions), I see connections to forgiveness and faith. They both affect filling in the blanks of life. 

First of all, faith. It is the "substance of things hoped for" (Hebrews 11:1), which sounds like a blank to be filled in to me! 

But forgiveness is potentially a roadblock to freedom and a door for evil if one does not forgive those who have hurt them (Mark 11:25; 2 Corinthians 2:10–11). To me, that sounds like a needed edit that wasn't done, and until it is, offense clutters the space that should be free to receive correction or a new, better word or structure.

In writing, editing isn't bad. It's refreshing if you have a good editor! It also brings focus and clarity. (Focus would have been a good f-word!) If forgiveness is an edit for the soul, it would be good and necessary to delete the obstructions and make room for God's ways. Then faith can finally fill the blank.

for·​give* (verb) fər-ˈgiv

transitive verb

1 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon

2 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for

   b : to grant relief from payment of

intransitive verb

: to grant forgiveness

  

*"forgive." Merriam-Webster.com. (6 April 2025).

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E—Edit (Post 2 of 2)

What I really want to talk about is editing. I am Irish. LOL. That is the first thing that popped into my head after "I am ..." and so I typed it. Now I must edit. 

I am Irish.
I am __________.

In that sense, I must delete something to correct it. That's one of the ways I feel edit in my bones today. I must delete some things in my life in order to align it correctly. The process started in Ireland (and even previously in Scotland) with my past. I erased ties to previous elements in my life that no longer suited me.

I remember the first one ... I was about to text my former fiance when I felt God's hand as if on my shoulder as if to restrain me. I obeyed. I probably wrote about the details of it then, but I knew I was not to reach out to him again. Our friendship had stayed strong despite our romance ending by choice, so it was not unusual for either one of us to text. But that day, it cut to my heart because I felt like I should delete his contact info from my phone and all past interactions. That ... was ... hard. But I did it.

The more recent trip to Ireland touched directly on my past in ways no one could manufacture. It was a step-by-step process of renouncing former vows (two, husband and fiance) and announcing my betrothal to the Lord and "His land" (meaning His plan for me, kind of like the Promised Land). It also carried the essense of Fort Dunadd from the Scotland trip where I put my foot in the stone that early kings used when coronated to declare their betrothal to the land.

Now that I am back home with a clean slate, I have been spinning my wheels a bit. A friend recently texted me about what she perceived about a "neutral gear" that's not measurable for the gifts and anointing God has given me. Then today, she shared more that made it all click in the context of a car and being in gear. 

So what this all means to me is that in order to align with God's plan, there's some editing to be done! I get that, of course, being a writer. There can be good things in a book or article that are not aligned with "something" ... style guide, grammar, even purpose. Sometimes culling away less strong points helps the focus of the article shine. That's kind of what I feel like right now.

For decades, I've been somewhat at the "beck and call" of others. There were plenty of demands on me! Critical ones. After the discovery of my former husband's pedophilia and extreme manipulation, it was both a relief and a challenge. No wonder I had not thrived! I had an opportunity for a clean slate then.

I complicated that by a new relationship a year later, one that we could never seem to make right no matter how much we tried. In the meantime, the kids were going through their own crises. We were all quite broken. 

After that ended, I was still open to relationships, which brought a whole new level and breadth of hurt. *sigh*

All that went by the wayside somewhere in 2016, and the last nine years have been ones of getting back on track. And now for the first time in my life, I have no obligation to anyone under my roof nor to an external schedule-based job. It is all right here—God and me.

So ... this is my "right now" challenge. Edit. Simple? I suppose it could be. It also feels quite complex. What all must I know to align to? In the writing world, it's massive. I suppose in my world, it should be simple. So I'm about to set myself to know what that is, cut away what doesn't belong, and focus on the main purpose. :-)

edit* (verb) ed·​it ˈe-dət 

transitive verb

1 a : to prepare (something, such as literary material) for publication or public presentation

   b : to assemble (something, such as a moving picture or tape recording) by cutting and rearranging

   c : to alter, adapt, or refine especially to bring about conformity to a standard or to suit a particular purpose

2 : to direct the publication of

3 : delete —usually used with out

4 : to modify a gene or gene product of by inserting, deleting, or replacing DNA sequences

*"edit." Merriam-Webster.com. (4 April 2025).

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E—Execute (Post 1 of 2)

Despite already having this waiting for Day 5 "E" ... I really want to write about edit instead of execute. But execute is a spinoff of yesterday's post. I think I'll do two. But instead of writing much about the executing of legal documents, I'll just leave what I had here.

What is an executor? One who executes the instructions of legal documents. There is a specific role in the estates of deceased persons (and other roles in other types of documentation are similar), but I'm thinking of it in general: one who executes or carries out the documented wishes of the one who created the paperwork.

execute* (verb) ˈek-si-ˌkyüt 

transitive verb

1 : to carry (something) out fully : to put (something) completely into effect

2 : to do what is provided or required by (something)

3 : to put (someone) to death especially in compliance with a legal sentence

4 : to make or produce (something, such as a work of art) especially by carrying out a design

5 : to perform what is required to give validity to (something)

6 : perform

7 (computing) : to cause a system to perform the tasks indicated by (encoded instructions)

intransitive verb

1 : to perform properly or skillfully the fundamentals of a sport or of a particular play

2 (of computer code) : to cause a system to perform indicated tasks

*"execute." Merriam-Webster.com. (31 March 2025).

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D—Documents : a Friend's Throne Room Vision

Sadly, the original live video is already gone (new Facebook rule), but February 22 marked an important day for me when I attended a friend's prayer meeting. 

The Lord has been showing her things by way of vision, just little snapshots in time. In this particular scene, she was in a room littered with paper. She knew it was the Throne Room, and when she picked up one of the papers, she recognized it as a prayer request that had seemingly gone unanswered.

Across it was the bold stamp: GRANTED

She imagined herself spending time in that room making requests and then going out and leaving the paperwork behind or letting it flutter to the ground and an angel having to gather and return the documents.

God began to teach her (and us) about Jesus' role to execute the provisions in that document.

From my Immi Adventure in England (2011? Possibly)

Because of having to take care of all sorts of things after my dad passed on, I have a working reference to what I can do if I have legal paperwork to execute his wishes documented in his trust. PROFOUND! If he had it documented as the "grantor" of his trust, I as the "trustee" administer the trust assets according to the his instructions. I simply produce the document, and whatever is within can be done.

That is a new working thought for prayer! I think I had a less concrete view to prayer. Just go in and ask, and sometimes keep on asking. But it would be silly to go in for more paperwork when a trust has already been settled; and impossible if the grantor has passed on (in the case of a revokable living trust which become irrevokable upon death). 

Just that week, I had a similar intersection of word study that started elseswhere but ended in the same place. I noticed two verses about Jesus:

Hebrews 13:20—"ratified an eternal covenant with his blood" (NLT)
Hebrews 12:24—"mediates the new covenant between God and people" (NLT)

I remember sitting in my chair and exclaiming out loud to Him, "You are so LEGAL!" 

document (noun) doc·​u·​ment ˈdä-kyə-mənt 

1 law a archaic : proof, evidence

   b : an original or official paper relied on as the basis, proof, or support of something

   c : something (such as a photograph or a recording) that serves as evidence or proof

2 a : a writing conveying information

   b : a material substance (such as a coin or stone) having on it a representation of thoughts by means of some conventional mark or symbol

   c : documentary

3 : a computer file containing information input by a computer user and usually created with an application (such as a spreadsheet or word processor)

document (verb) doc·​u·​ment ˈdä-kyə-ˌment 

transitive verb

1 : to furnish documentary evidence of

2 : to furnish with documents

3 a : to provide with factual or substantial support for statements made or a hypothesis proposed

especially : to equip with exact references to authoritative supporting information (as by means of footnotes)

   b (1) : to construct or produce (something, such as a movie or novel) with authentic situations or events

      (2) : to portray realistically

4 nautical : to furnish (a ship) with ship's papers

*“document,” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/document. Accessed 4/3/2025.

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