Life unfolds ... some of it here. This blog began as a way to focus on the good things in the midst of a crisis and be a connection to friends and family when it seemed to take all of my time just to weather the storms. It seems to have transformed into a sanctuary of musing and inspiration. Feel free to join me!
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Alan meditating (I assumed) on site.
While the day was huge … my first work day, meeting (and
kissing) the English and those from many other counties, sitting by Imogen, and
just being around so many life-giving people … the overriding thought of the
day was that of being vessels.
Alan, a practicing Buddhist from the San Francisco Bay area,
was sharing about how he viewed relationships as being vessels for one another
… and in one context, vessels that could hold the hurt and help the other
heal. In one case, a friend shared
something that was too much for him to hold, and what made an impression upon
me is that he recognized it, communicated that capacity to her, and was able to
gracefully support her within clear boundaries.
Maybe that sounds like a bunch of words, but for me it’s
quite significant. I’ve had a challenge
with boundaries. And people close to me
have challenges as well (some with running over boundaries and others with over
extending their own).
I like thinking of boundaries as vessels, actually. There’s a capacity, a limit, a boundary
within a vessel. It’s clear how much a
vessel can hold. It’s usually not clear
to me how much I can hold. I feel like I
never do enough. Others say I do too
much. And when I do recognize that I am
overwhelmed, I feel guilty. I think I’m
going to challenge myself to carve out my vessel. But not just to know it well, I want to know
its purpose. I want those kinds of
limits that promote a healthy perspective that feeds my own spirit, soul and
body as well. One that isn’t
overwhelmed, one that can give, one that can hold, and one that can heal.
I don't swear, so I need to be creative. My substitute for h*** is "hooty-hoo" ... just ask my daughter. LOL! When we listen to music in the car, sometimes a word pops up to surprise us in the lyrics and the substitutes come in very handy, send the message that the language isn't appropriate, and usually get at least a semi-entertained response from my teen.
Today held a different kind of disappointing surprise. Conflict has risen to the surface. I want to trust and believe the best. However, my fears from the past cause me to be reluctant and skeptical. AND ... it seems like my fears win out over my idealistic perspective when they shouldn't and vice versa when they should!
We have had a string of good weeks, which is AMAZING for us. It also had me secretly concerned. My concerns were valid. Discovering that erases those weeks of cross-my-fingers-maybe-a-turning-point-has-come hopes.
I want to list all the challenges ... tell the world ...…