Shake It Out

So far, 2012 has been one for the books! The trials have been ones I would have rather not experienced ... EVER ... but at the same time, the triumphs are starting to build.  So much of that seemed showcased as my "little" Miss M (who is now officially a teenager) danced to "Shake It Out."

I can't watch her dance to those words without crying.  It's a pretty personal statement of her own struggle. She's had to wrestle a good bit of darkness.  And we're starting to see some real light at the end of the tunnel.  Tears come even now.

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

God's Decree

Isaiah 54:11-17 "Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied: I'm about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise, Lay your foundations with sapphires, construct your towers with rubies, Your gates with jewels, and all your walls with precious stones. All your children will have God for their teacher— what a mentor for your children! You'll be built solid, grounded in righteousness, far from any trouble—nothing to fear! far from terror—it won't even come close! If anyone attacks you, don't for a moment suppose that I sent them, And if any should attack, nothing will come of it. I create the blacksmith who fires up his forge and makes a weapon designed to kill. I also create the destroyer— but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged. Any accuser who takes you to court will be dismissed as a liar. This is what God's servants can expect. I'll see to it that everything works out for the best." God's Decree.

High Intensity

Today was spent on the dance/competition floor at Talent on Parade. Miss M had HIGH hopes for placing first in her division and doing another round of Top Stars. Alas, a fourth place scoring prevented that (and we will be learning from the judges' comments for sure as I thought she really was strong)! But you know what I love? She received one of the "Judges' Choice" awards - only 10 in her whole age category.  That means that regardless of scoring, her performance caught the judges' eye and made her stand out.  Her award? HIGH INTENSITY ... She should be VERY proud (I know I am)!

I may have to post photos later of her creative surprise for her grandparents who came to watch the competition.  Let's say it involved a car "paint" marker and the windows of their Cadillac!  I have to laugh.

Glances

I glance her way and get a glimpse of dimensional time.  I absorb a present moment different than I've known before.  I see a flash of her future and a flashback of my past.  I see her beauty and wonder how I missed the  the time that turned her into a young woman.

One Moment Danced ...

My little one is growing up. She's becoming a young lady and a beautiful performer. I may need to do a series of photos just from her years in the Nutcracker!

And I do want to gripe just a bit.  I brought my camera to the performance hoping I'd hear those magic words: "No flash photography."  And I did!  Those words are my magic because I do NOT use flash (and truly hate it when all cameras are penalized because of those who).  So when I hear that, it's equal to saying, "Go ahead! Take all the photos you want as long as you don't use flash."

There was one lady evidently with the production (she had a name tag, but I couldn't read the name) who REALLY DID NOT LIKE ME taking those photos.  But far beyond me, she made quite the scene ... kept turning around, glaring, and giving very loud "SHHHH"s and even imitating me by saying something ... I heard "CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!" being uttered between other loud whispers I tried to ignore.  It's one thing when a camera makes a natural noise, and completely another when a human imitates, shushes, stares, glares, and turns around constantly.

I'm guessing it's people like her who are behind all the "NO _____" rules.  I would like to say that I am also not obtrusive like some can be (and I've heard used as a reason why cameras aren't allowed) ... I just sit in my seat and capture what I can.  Why?  Because of the above.  This is how I experience these things best - behind a lens, making memories for my loved ones and me to share.

Laughter

Always a welcome sound ... laughter was a big part of a rousing game of horseshoes with Uncle James at grandma and grandpa's house in Kansas.  (And even though I couldn't capture the action clearly, I still love this photo!)

Howl

And so she performs ... the "wolf" performing to Howl (by Florence + the Machine).  She loved the drama of this dance!  It was a tough competition this year (the younger girls didn't place) but it's only the first.  Here we go!

Black Light Special

As we stood in line waiting for our turn on the Rockin' Rollercoaster, we heard the announcement, "This ride DOES go upside down." M's head whipped around toward me and her eyes were HUGE! I had just told her that I didn't think it went upside down - at least I didn't remember that it did. It was the one thing that would have prevented her from going. She did NOT want to go upside down!

I couldn't help but laugh and asked what she wanted to do. She was torn. The event had been built so high in her mind that she didn't want to NOT go. And she kept commenting about how her brother would be proud of her if she rode it.

And so we rode ... 3 times!

Screams and laughter were part every round. She was positively glowing (and not just from the black lights in the ride)! I'm glad my memory failed me. It helped Miss M become a coaster lover! Now THAT'S special.

Cake and Laughter

Turning 12 while waiting for a Disney adventure had highlights of its own.  From finding a cake and candles to forgetting matches ... and having hotel staff offer to sing but finding instead when we returned a lobby FULL of business men ... we found plenty of moments to laugh.

My Elite Dancer

This image showed up on the highlights Facebook page for TOP Branson Nationals today ... WOW! I'm proud of Miss M! She received an Elite Top First rating and placed 2nd in her division (across all dance categories in ages 9-12)! I'm using a lot of exclamation points!

The Bling Has Begun!

We're getting ready for DANCE NATIONALS! Even though the spring and summer have been a whirlwind already, the excitement has broken through ... along with the sequins (photo from her new beanie)!  Miss M is SO excited.  Our list is still long for the day, but now it's becoming fun.  Before long, we'll have a trunk full of dance things and bling for her, work things and cameras for me, with paint and glitter adorning the windows!

Stars and Stripes (and SWIRLS)

This year, our celebration involved children ... always a treat!  For the past few summers, my kids have been in Ohio on visitation.  Even though J is grown and living there now (and couldn't come here), M had to return for dance nationals and her dad was no longer able to attend, so she was flown in a day early.  She was just in time to be part of a birthday party for Uncle J and Miss P.  We even had a delightful accompaniment to fireworks on bongo drums!

Juliette Low Birthplace

DSC01983, a photo by IndigoBleuePhoto on Flickr.

Miss M's troop had their first "BIG" trip ... to Savannah, GA to see the birthplace of the founder of Girl Scouts: Juliette Gordon Low (aka "Daisy").

Juliette Gordon Low Birthplace

Miss M's Girl Scout troop bridged at a very special place today ... the Juliette Gordon Low Birthplace in Savannah, GA. For those of you not in the Girl Scout realm, Juliette Low is the founder of Girl Scouting. So, we did a quick bridging ceremony in the garden and they "flew up" from Girl Scout Juniors to Girl Scout Cadettes!

Leaping Lizards!

OK - not lizards - but one fancy little dancer in her first pointe solo (a modified version of her competition piece).  This one shared with her school during the 5th grade talent show.  She was one of 60 auditions, and won a spot to perform for her peers.  It was WONDERFUL!  So glad I caught one of her full split leaps.

Pride and Joy

The last time I sat in on my daughter's classes (last fall), her pointe shoes were new and barely scuffed.  They have now become proudly well-worn.  I hear complaints after class when toes hurt, but it is evidently worth it.  Every other story is sheer bliss.  She is joyfully counting down the days to her recital May 21 ... MAY 21 ... MAY 21!

Aiden Christopher Leitnick

March 23, 2011 at 5:56 p.m., little Aiden Christopher Leitnick showed up 8 lbs. 3 oz. and 21 inches long ... bringing a whole new generation to the family!  Madison is SO excited to be an aunt.  When she heard the news, there were screams of delight.  We were anxiously awaiting photos ... and even though I promised I'd check first thing in the morning, she is the one who knocked on my door to show me the photo (I don't know HOW she woke up so early).  This GRANDMOTHER thing has had its first moments of reality.  Funny how Jeremy's call saying that Sarah was in labor just flipped some kind of switch!  It's quite an amazing time.

Joy of Dance and Life

There are times I forget how young my daughter is ... especially when I put it in context of my own youth. Fifth grade. I think I sang a song from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar (with sign language, of course, my nearly trademarked choice of communication that always seemed to so easily fit with song) at a reunion of some sort in North Dakota. WAIT! It had to be later ... we were living on the farm, and I think I went to study some sign language with my former teacher out there somewhere (I'll have to ask on Facebook).

Well, if I was older ... then I'm not sure I had any kind of solo experience (except that of piano recitals, I guess ... but it was an expected end to a year of lessons, not really a performance in my mind).

I did two dance solos, both in my early twenties. She has technically done 4 dance solos by age eleven. I know there are other girls who have grown up performing and one would think they were born on stage. But I guess I'm finding myself realizing how proud I can be when she is brave enough to try something like this. She didn't start when all the other girls did. The timing of divorce and additional financial challenges limited the exposure my kids had to extracurricular opportunities.

Once in Oklahoma, I was able to start making one or two things available to my kids. At first, she chose baseball like her brother. The pink batting helmet in a sea of boys got her in the newspaper, but not into the big leagues. She found she didn't really enjoy the game, and wasn't too sure about the boys (though they were VERY sweet and didn't bat an eye to having a girl on their team) as they were just ... well ... boys.

Once she was in dance, it fit. Teachers would ask where she had danced before (she hadn't), and each year she would be advanced more than her experience suggested. So while she is still a novice in this area, she LOVES it and is doing well. And seeing her face BEAM for hours and watching her personality soften and expand in the light of feeling so amazing, I am not only proud but encouraged. Maybe she is finding her place early in life?

I find myself struggling with that from time to time as an adult. Even today, I asked myself what I wanted out of life. I answered myself aloud as honestly as I could. "I want someone to tell me what I want to do. I want it to click. I want it to give me energy. And I want to do it." (Yes, it's a little pathetic that I need someone to tell me. I think it's sheer exhaustion speaking. As soon as I said the words, I felt like inside I already know - it's just either getting quiet enough or brave enough to hear it.)

My hope for her? That she follows her heart fully ... and I guess that's my hope for every person. But that's not always a good thing, depending on the heart! So maybe I should say it more accurately. My hope is that she has her heart in a good place and follows it fully.

Suburban Sleigh Ride

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Before I do anything else today (and the opportunities are HUGE as I have the day off and at least a dozen projects in flux) ... I want to be sure I publicly wish my mom a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I just happened to ask if there were plans for celebrating her birthday, thinking that I'd probably be able to make time to crash the event with some other Tulsa relatives, and was surprised to find that having special birthday dinners with my step-dad was more of the default and not the actual plan. And it hit me. She's a mom! Moms do everything for others ... They work to make the world go 'round and it doesn't always come back to them. (I'm learning.)

So this weekend, even though time is tight, we had enough to meet partway for a special birthday lunch in Independence, KS at an Italian restaurant Bella Vita. We arranged a special birthday surprise ... didn't they do a nice job? Of course, we also did our traditional birthday blessing (each of us wrote down how she has blessed us and reads it in the group as a way of honoring her), which I can never do without tears. But I get more teary-eyed thinking that we haven't done this for my mom enough!!!

So, Mom, I hope this year is one of the best ever for you. You deserve it! I won't get all mushy-gushy online ... just know you're loved!