Chaos

Swing blindly. Hope for the best. Attack. Retreat.
What do you do when chaos strikes?

[I found this draft when I came to take a peek at my sorely neglected blog. I'm posting it now because its prettier than what people see now when they might visit!]

Found Poem

One moment's hesitation 
     caused a world to slip and slide
Momentum in regression
     making inner worlds collide
A breath too late
     A thought too still
        A tune unnoticed wanes
Illusions of reality
     crowd fate out of the game
Yet deep inside a centered man
     a power waits to rise
Entwined with faith and confidence
     each dream to realize

[Dated 5/5/03; greenish-suede(like) journal with black spine and button/elastic closure; Photo from 2003 wedding--second one I shot, first for someone I did not know]

Ben Campbell Johnson Paraphrase - Mark 11:24 - 2020 "Receive Quest" Challenge (003)

Mark 11:24 Ben Campbell Johnson (BCJ)*
24 Because of this principle, when you discover your soul's deepest desires, state them in your prayers, and consider them to have occurred—they will!

I loved this heading: Desire and Prayer! Desire is another word quest for me because of some things I saw connecting it to prayer and receiving. I tried to find the source for what sparked the original curiosity and couldn't! I believe it was in the transcripts for a new CD or DVD being put together from some previously unreleased meetings of Brother Hagin.

There is much I can say concerning desire, but a brief mention of a few recent events might be interesting to reflect on. In each case, I was the recipient of something extremely specific that had a desire attached!

1. FLOPPY DISKS
   A week ago, my friend and I visited a junk shop full of random objects and thick dust. In the far back corner, a dismantled keyboard was on the bottom shelf of a display case: Ensoniq Mirage DSK. WHAT? I had forgotten about that keyboard! We had used it back in the 80s with "Party Conscious" (primarily for sampling recorded background vocals, if I recall). I had been looking for a sampler (and bought something I never figured out), and this is something I actually knew how to use! I wish I had time to share the whole story and the dear man I met. But the point of sharing this is that I started to daydream about that keyboard. The man said it might be possible out an old computer with a small floppy drive (must be connected to the mother board) and create a boot disk (with a taped half-capacity disk), then try installing that drive from the computer into the keyboard. The guy is game to try it! So I was totally daydreaming about it. Days later, a coworker pops out of the copy room with floppy disks in her hands, ready to throw them away: "We don't ever use these, do we?" OH MY GOODNESS! I piped up, "I can use them!"
2. CRACKERS
   This is a small one, but the same day as the disks, I had brought Christmas leftovers for my lunch and included a snack for the afternoon: the last bit of cream cheese and pepper jelly. But I had forgotten the crackers! That morning when I realized I had forgotten, I almost drove home over lunch to get them because it's SO delicious. All day I was desiring crackers. By mid afternoon, I was daydreaming of when I got home and could eat it! Lo and behold, when I walked into the kitchen to replenish my ice, I saw packets of crackers on the "giveaway table"! Haha! That works! I was thrilled! It would not have been notable in itself, but since "desire" has been a topic of interest, it got my attention: Two things happened in one day where I distinctly desired something and that specific "something" appeared!
3. MALLETS
   This weekend, my friend and I were at a flea market. As we were driving back, the conversation drifted toward something that made me think of what Danny Elfman used to do ages ago: tuck a miniature mallet behind his ear and "ping" things. He said hardware stores were the best. He would pick up items, tap them with the mallet, and if he liked the sound, he'd put them in the cart, buy them, and then sample them in his studio. I shared the story (this friend knows my desire to collect sounds) and initially the point to me was that I should not shy away from recording sounds that interest me despite what I think it looks like to others.  I was thinking about all the cool stuff we had just seen, and exclaimed how I should have been looking for mini mallets! To my surprise, my friend said he saw some (three, to be exact) at the first booth he bought things at. I went back that afternoon and sure enough they were there! I now have a wooden mallet small enough to fit in my purse. Actually, I had another idea after I bought that and actually found a second much tinier metal mallet at another booth, but it was 7 times as much. I didn't get it. But now I wish I had! In addition, the conversation with the guy at the booth may have connected me to someone who can make a metal "flying saucer" drum! What an adventure! (There's SO much more. I hope I can share the full story sometime.)

*Johnson, Ben Campbell. Matthew and Mark: A Relational Paraphrase. Waco, TX: Word Books, 1978.

The New English Bible - Mark 11:24 - 2020 "Receive Quest" Challenge (002)

Mark 11:24 The New English Bible (NEB)*
24 I tell you, then, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Believe—what a big word! Of course, the context is so important to the final point of receiving. It's not just verse 24. I like how the previous verse says, "has no inward doubts" and takes it even further: "but believes that what he says is happening."

Recently someone suggested I listen to Bruce Lipton. This verse makes me think of the "Biology of Belief" (one of the concepts from his research) and epigenetics. To me, it's the science side of God's design ... where we see the architecture behind the principles and powers God put in place.

*The New English Bible. Cambridge, Great Britain: Oxford University Press; Cambridge University Press, 1961.

King James & Wycliffe Bible Commentary - Mark 11:24 - 2020 "Receive Quest" Challenge (001)

Mark 11:24 King James Version (KJV) 
24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Verse 24, The Wycliffe Bible Commentary
24. Believe. A present tense imperative, calling for persistent, continuing faith.
Receive. Superior manuscript evidence favors the aorist tense—you did receive. In other words, we are to keep on believing that God has already given us our request.

My white board has Mark 11:24 as one of the branches of receiving. I, too, honed in on "believe" and "receive" like Wycliffe (great minds think alike - LOL)! Actually, just the detail of what to do when is what is so helpful. "When ye pray" is when we do the believing. THEN - in prayer - believe you receive. The shall have is in the future.

BUT ALSO NOTICE: Wycliffe brings out what probably many "Word nerds" have discovered: The receiving mentioned here is a one-time fact. Once it is done, it is complete - sort of like when something happens now in the present tense, then you look back on it yesterday as past tense. But the believing mentioned is different. It is present tense, but it doesn't stop and go into past tense. It stays present tense.

I guess you could say it in two views: Believe that you receive when you pray (present) ... and continue to believe that you received when you prayed (past).

The New Testament and Wycliffe Bible Commentary. 1st ed. New York: The Iversen-Norman Associates, 1971.
The New Testament of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Translated out of the original Greek and with former translations diligently compared and revised, Set forth in 1611 and commonly known as the King James Version.
Pfeiffer, Charles F., and Everett F. Harrison, eds. The Wycliffe Bible Commentary. 1st ed. Chicago, IL: Moody Press, 1962.

2020 "Receive Quest" Challenge—Mark 11:24

Last week, I was blessed with three books:

The New Testament and Wycliffe Bible Commentary

The New English Bible

Matthew and Mark—A Relational Paraphrase (Ben Campbell Johnson)

I immediately opened all of them to Mark 11:24, and it gave me an idea: What if I took one verse for one year and looked it up in every translation I could find?

Rather than just scribble in notebooks like I always do, it seemed easy enough to at least document the versions on a blog. I could work ahead and populate the versions, schedule them, and comment along the way. We shall see how that system works!

Reasons

There are some motivating elements in play which may be of significance. This section will be updated (and hopefully expounded) when I have time.

• I am on a slow-motion quest with this word: RECEIVE 
• The quest began after I listened to a recording of my cousin being interviewed about his time in Heaven. 
• I have a hunch that receiving is the same as the currently popular topic of manifesting. 
• Note: I believe God's design is everywhere, and if something works, it's because of His under-girding design. 
• Also of note: I believe the same design can work in negative or positive ways and in many cases is subject to our governance of it. (Example: Belief. Too much to say here, but may delve in more later.)

Beginnings

The white board hiding behind my office door holds little quest nuggets. It's very "organic" and not unlike a walk in nature where I might collect fallen leaves, stones, twigs, and photos of textures/colors/whatever captures my attention. These scribbles have already evolved quite a bit, but here's an image to document where they stand when my 2020 Challenge started. We shall see if it changes!

Emailing Jesus

Today I emailed Jesus. I asked for a calendar.

"Hello, Jesus ...

I noticed Janet had her new wall calendar up.
She mentioned that you have them.
Could I get a horizontal one, please?

THANKS!!!!"

Jesus is my Columbian coworker, not the Savior! It's pronounced differently, of course, so saying* his name is not odd. But as soon as I put "Jesus" in writing, things get amusing!

Instinctively, I began, "Hey, Jesus." Too casual. But "Dear Jesus," seemed too formal. I cycled through several options that all seemed weird. Ultimately I chose a simple "Hello." It seemed suitable for either a human or deity.

I know it's "just" a name for humans -- like John or Paul. But I really can't think of any other name I would have stumbled over like that.

Recently an inter-department envelope went around with a card for everyone to sign. We always have a sheet with when it is due back and a list of names to check off as it is passed along. Jesus' name was not alphabetized with the rest of us; It was at the top of the list. How funny! So I'm not the only employee who can't treat his name like everyone else's.

Occasionally, I get an email from Jesus. It makes me laugh every time. Sometimes Jesus invites us all downstairs for donuts. I like Jesus. :-)

Isn't that funny how much weight is attached to those five letters?

But on the other hand, seeing "Jesus" in the context of an email request caused me to back up a moment and consider the simplicity of asking: What if I approached Jesus Christ like I did my coworker?

"Hello, Jesus ...

I noticed Janet had her new roof installed.
She mentioned that You arranged it.
Could I get a solar one, please?

THANKS!!!!"

Biblical Jesus said, "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours" (Mark 11:24 NLT). [I know there is more to this passage (verses 22-26 in answer to Peter noticing the fig tree had withered and died) ... but really, not much!]

So do I believe Mark 11:24? My head jumps to, "YES! Of course!" I always assume I believe the Bible because I choose to do so ... but in a moment like this, I wonder where my believing is. It must be limited to my intellect (or "mental assent" as the late Brother Hagin would say) because I don't think I act the same way with the two different Jesuses!

When I emailed coworker Jesus, I didn't wonder if I would get a calendar. Really, the only question was how long until the calendar showed up! (And in his case, it was surprisingly fast. )

When I think of a similar request to Biblical Jesus, suddenly it gets pushed out into the "maybe" zone! I'm tempted to filter it through scriptures and rules or teaching messages to get a solid perspective on whether I could/should ask for any such thing and if I'm properly positioned to do so.

What would happen if I kept everything that simple -- as simple as a "Hello, Jesus" email?

Maybe that will be my New Year's challenge for 2020: K.I.S.S. E.J. (Keep It Simple, Silly. Email Jesus!)


*I find it ironically funny that my coworker's name when spoken sounds like "Hey, Zeus."

It Sticks to Your Ribs!

My grandmother is a fan of oatmeal. She lives in Heaven now, but I can still hear her say, "It sticks to your ribs!" I wonder if there's oatmeal in eternity?

Aside from the impossibility of food literally sticking to one's ribs, I'm sure most people know what it means—it sticks with you. Oatmeal is a little more substantial and will sustain a body longer than some other options. That was important on the farm. Hard work happened upon waking, and sustenance was important!

Today, my grandmother's phrase caused me to think of the opposite effect. What doesn't stick to my ribs? Fruit! It is my preferred morning "routine" (if I can muster myself to have one). It is light, brings energy, and is gone—easy on the system. Nourish and GO!

That's great for a physical body . . . but maybe not every day. Depending on the demands of that day or that season, it could very well be that oatmeal is more suitable.

[NOTE: Thanks to pexels.com and Keegan Evans, I have an oatmeal photo. Thank you! While I usually use my own images, I didn't want to procrastinate. There are too many drafts of posts awaiting words and images!]

Blank as Black, Bright as Light

Staring at this computer screen is remarkably like flying over the ocean at night . . . eerily blank, just in reverse. Flat, bright, silent white. In the air, one can see the last lights of land, a definite, glimmering line, and then it’s unapologetic black, blank space. Somehow everything seems suddenly hushed. Now in reverse, the light stares at me just as blankly as the darkness of night. No nothing. No blip. No emotions. No toppling opinions. No tears. Nothing.

Like any soul open to the expression of words, I wait.

Time passes.

I realize that my mind is not as quiet as I thought. My soul is silently restless. And even in this subtle commotion, no words or emotion come. In the face of nothing, it feels like I have nothing. And I am surprised! But I have a feeling there is a revelation in it. So I hold it toward the Lord.

I wait—with Him.

Oh, my Jesus. My precious Lord and Savior. Oh how beautiful it is that we can spend our days in communion with You. What a privilege. What an honor. What a joy! Your presence is sweet and powerful—both in one. It’s profound. It’s simple. It’s precious. How little we know! And yet how abundantly much we have and experience and come to know in You! May our eyes and hearts be open to so much more. May we breathe as one and share intimately this place of love. You, dear Father, are good. Your mercy endures forever. We march with Your banner over us, for we know Your love.

These are the things my spirit . . .

Interrupted.

A thought came to me a second time with more fullness: forgiveness. The slate is clean. Blank.
I expected an upsurge of emotion after watching the movie Unplanned. I wondered at the cracking open of something shameful from my past. I went—unsure. Would I react to the reactions of others? Would they hate? Would they cheer? Would I react to what the film portrayed? Would it alienate? Would it blame? I did not expect to emerge unshamed.

My wound has healed. It doesn’t hurt to touch it. I don’t flinch at the light of truth. It has been handed to the Lord. The work has been done for some time. Like remembering a scar from childhood, it is a story in the timeline. I may bear the mark in my skin, but the sting of injury is long gone. To the touch it brings no knee-jerk pain. Now the memory can be used with intention and the story can become an example for others.

Tearbitten

News of a dear soul passing to heaven reached me early this morning--the third of such people in recent days and weeks. I spent my waking hours tearbitten.

Tearbitten is my new word. I saw a word from scripture translated as hungerbitten. It doesn't need much definition, does it? Those hunger pangs nibble and bite. That's how tears feel this morning, a cry in response to the heart pangs.

Now I will say that the joyful side of heavenly entrance is very much a reality. And my tears are definitely selfish. I know this. :-) There is a beauty that resonates of a much different nature on that side of the scale.

If my cries could have resurrected someone, I would welcome that! They didn't even rouse my cat. It was all my soul pouring itself out. I'm not sure what I even want to say about that other than I want to write about it, and this is simply a draft at the moment. I may just need to acknowledge the moment while I can.

Something unfinished ... that's the ragged edge to my tears. Not just this morning, but in all three recent situations. For each one, my heart had previously been wanting to reach out--specifically, I wanted to write a letter (or text in one case). Regrets of the undone are the pangs, the piercings, the haunting sharpness.

Why am I so slow to respond? Why do I bow to procrastination? When did it get power in my life? Since when is my piddly day more important than reaching out to another human heart? Why am I timid about it?

Maybe the whys aren't important. Maybe just my recognition and awakening to this awful inversion is what counts.

I took it to the Lord in communion this morning. I judged myself of not following my inner urge to write when I could have shared my heart while a person was alive. (Not that my heart was important! Dear me. No! But that another person's life is important, and for me to take the time to acknowledge that and express my thankfulness for them.)

As I was trying to find words for a new commitment I could make with the Lord's help, I wondered silently why it was even a hint of a problem for me as I had a flashback to the times when letters from me were unfettered--free and lengthy outpourings of my heart. In that moment as if in response, I also recalled many experiences that targeted my words, hurt deeply, and caused me to restrain or second-guess (ultimately silencing) myself.

It answered my why.

As I sat with my communion elements, this time the breaking of the bread took on the significance of breaking that power over me. The body of my Lord broken for this ... for freedom from self-intimidation. After judging myself, I asked for forgiveness. I forgave those who contributed to the pressure that I responded to and shut myself down. I declared that power broken in my life. All in a gentle atmosphere of humility--acknowledging that I have no power in myself, but it's all God's doing and I welcome His work in my life to bring change, spark life, and spread His love.

I'm seeing such value (and challenge) in connection. We sure do need one another.

I want to look back and say that today is the day I leveled-up in life when it came to other people. It's another chip in the hermit-wishes (my mind gravitates toward being a hermit)! But most importantly, it's another day to step into the world bravely and see the hearts around me. It's another day to pick up my pen, put it to beautiful paper, and celebrate someone's life.

The 4 a.m. Lord's Supper

A recent article (future to the rest of the world, as it will be published in June) was the subject of discussion yesterday. Even though the suggestion had been submitted by the editor many times, when it came to her desk as an article, it was sobering.

We were discussing the impact. The focus was a passage in First Corinthians 11:23-32 about the Lord's Supper. The sobering part has to do with judging ourselves and discerning the Lord's body. "For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep [are dead]," (vv. 29-30).

Verse 31 swoops in with a breath of fresh air: "For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged." I do believe I prefer to judge myself rather than to be chastened of the Lord! But even in that, He does it that we should not be condemned with the world. He is a beautiful, loving Savior.

In light of that, she shared some experiences and things she had witnessed. It inspired me. I had a plan. My intention was to come home after church, sit down to communion, and judge myself! I wanted to hit that cause of sickness and weakness, and eradicate it! I didn't. I ate a bunch of chicken and went to bed!

But I woke at 3 a.m. with the Lord's Supper on my mind. Our conversation yesterday brought up Smith Wigglesworth's practice of observing communion daily. I decided to do a bit of research. I came across this quote in an article on cfaith.com called Building a Wall Between You and Sin:

"The real change in Smith Wigglesworth did not come until he started getting up every day at 4 a.m. to take Communion.

"Like clockwork, every day he would begin the day remembering his covenant with Almighty God by taking the bread and the cup. Every day, he lived under the influence of that covenant. And every day, he became more and more bold - until, finally, he became one of the boldest men of God in history."

I looked at the time. I had 20 minutes until 4 a.m. I may as well launch this effort at 4 a.m. like Smith Wigglesworth! I gathered crackers, juice, and my Bible. I looked up scriptures and wrote them down on a card for future reference. But I spent my time in First Corinthians 11:23-32.

I got quiet. I asked the Lord to show me where and how to judge myself. When any specific situation came to mind, I apologized and asked for forgiveness. I repented for thinking low thoughts and asked Him to help me see things His way.

Then I thought about the setting in the scripture. Jesus, about to be betrayed, spent His last meal with the disciples and made a covenant. Knowing what was to come. Knowing His body would be broken. Knowing His blood was to be poured out. The blood of the new testament, the new covenant, His own "last will and testament" so to speak (but He would live again to oversee it). Wow.

So I spoke the words softly to myself before each element: "Take, eat: this is My body which is broken for you ..." I broke the cracker, and as I placed it in my mouth, tears came. "This cup is the new testament in my blood ..." The tears continued.

I don't know why I cry exactly. It seems like any time I am drawn out to God and express it somehow, tears are usually part of it. But in this moment, I don't even have the words as I reflect. It was simply a very personal time with Jesus . . . He and I connecting over covenant.

This will become part of my life, my dedication to Him. I will do this in remembrance of Him. I just don't know that I can consistently do it at 4 a.m. every day!

Start Forgiving. Start _____.

When we stop accusing and start forgiving, we "switch sides" so to speak. The "accuser of the brethren" is a role attributed to the devil (Rev. 12:7-12). In contrast, Jesus' words reflect forgiveness: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34 NIV).

The power of compassion and forgiveness is seen throughout Jesus' life on earth. It brought release and freedom. FREEDOM! That's what we cry out for.

Maybe the release you seek is not out ahead of you. Maybe it is within ... in your heart and in your words.

Stop accusing.
Start forgiving.

Consider all the roadblocks that are present in our lives. How many of them are connected to disappointments or other things that we hang on others: hurts, lack of grace, infringement of our rights or privacy or any other thing that makes us feel violated?

When will we take those trials and circumstances off of their human hooks? When will we forgive and move forward? What if the one way to make the path straight is to forgive? Will we give others the grace we so desperately desire? When will we stop railing against others for what we are not willing to give? We become both the accuser and violator in one.

Stop.

My heart shouts it. STOP! My heart prays it. Stop.

Let's release one another. Let's release ourselves. There are powerful desires and dreams within us. We have voices to be heard. We have significant lives to live. What is that "thing" that burns in you? Is it a message? Is it a cause? What is in your future that seems so far away?

I believe that if we are stuck behind hurts, there is a way we can be released: start forgiving. And that's not just toward others. It's toward yourself, too.

Stop accusing.
Start forgiving.
Start living.
Start _____(whatever is in your heart)_____.

Three Dads and an Uncle (Plus a Super-Texting Mom)

Three smiling faces. Two hybrids. Two blessings: one is to me, one is through me to my daughter. But that's just the surface. The best blessings are people.

Gratitude is my goal of expression here. When last year's blessing (2000 Toyota Camry driven by my daughter) died on the highway, it wasn't long before people started getting involved. The whole story is too long for a blog post, but let's just say it wasn't the best time to navigate such a situation!

Considering that my preferred course of action was to buy bicycles for the kids and keep driving my Honda Civic hybrid FOREVER, it feels like a miracle that I am the one in a practically new car! 

Miracle. What kind of miracle is buying a car? I could go on and on. Maybe I'll separate the lessons I've learned in this short little exercise into bite-sized morsels to write about later on. But for all practical purposes, let's just say that every blessing outside of a practical living expense has got to be inspired by God! (Not that living expenses aren't! I believe it is all His provision along the way. It's just that the planned and known provision is already stretched to miracle status to meet planned and known expenses. LOL)

Car shopping was something I would have laughed off until my dad got involved. Now it was real. His help was pledged, so the quest began. There's something for all of us to learn about trust and God if we have fathers like mine. :-)  Love you, Dad!

Car shopping is also overwhelming! The calls! The texts! The emails! The web cookies that bring cars on to every web browser page! Who knew I would need so much help? Evidently God did. People were alongside all the way. Even when car lots seemed more like a field of vultures, one of my dearest friends was there to help shoo them away or simply get me out of there! Thank you.

Before long, my mom and step-dad were researching cars. Then my uncle stepped into the ring and was plugging in VIN numbers as fast as my super-texting mom could conduct traffic between all of us.

Let me just say to all of you: THANK YOU. While I bumbled around and spent every available moment researching cars, you were all there for me to bounce options off of and offer information. Let me also say: I'M SORRY for inundating you with all the fragments of my mind! But I'm SO VERY THANKFUL that you were all there.

Now if you read the title of this post and have reached this point, you may have wondered (if you have a mathematical mind) where is the third dad?

Papa God is the other "dad" involved in this story. There is no way I can adequately thank or brag on Him, of course. But I do want to give glory to Him for seeing us through a difficult situation and making sure that we are better off on the other side. Only He knows how much I have wrestled with this blessing and the tears I have shed receiving such a wonderful gift.

So what does "give glory" really mean? I went to look it up just now in biblical terms. Interestingly enough, most of the ties I see involve money or wealth! That sounds like another subject to search out. We use words so loosely in modern culture!

But one word that applies (which is part of "kabowd" in Hebrew and translated "glory" in the Bible) is this: honor. That I can do! 

I honor You, Papa God.

Every blessing You have inspired
   I gratefully receive.
I acknowledge You ...

   Your love

   Your generosity

   Your majesty

   Your brilliance

Discovering Your blueprint in my life

   is my greatest adventure.

Thank You for every idea You have that involves me.

Your way of life is the greatest!
And thank You in particular
   for this unexpected bright blue blessing.
It's my "jubilee" car!
Thank You for all the help you inspired.
Bless every life and gift involved FAR more than they could ever dream.
(And even to the car lot vultures, I speak Your goodness and peace over them. May each one know the joy of life with You.)

Amen!

Skimming

Office Tears

They're the worst ... and the best. Tears at the workplace usually mean that I've tapped into something with a passion. Or maybe I'm just tired. They mean I've touched something meaningful. Or maybe I'm just lonely. They signal a significant moment--something deep with God. Or maybe I'm just frustrated.

Office tears make me face myself and my perceptions of what others think. Those little dew drops can bring on a wave of self-consciousness that feels as if it could drown me. And at the same time it can burst into a fountain that releases my heart.

Funny thing these tears.

Creative Affirmations

These are taken from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (I'm doing the 12 week course via book to begin 2016).

1. I am a channel for God's creativity, and my work comes to good.
2. My dreams come from God and God has the power to accomplish them.
3. As I create and listen, I will be led.
4. Creativity is the creator's will for me.
5. My creativity heals myself and others.
6. I am allowed to nurture my artist.
7. Through the use of a few simple tools, my creativity will flourish.
8. Through the use of my creativity, I serve God.
9. My creativity always leads me to truth and love.
10. My creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness.
11. There is a divine plan of goodness for me.
12. There is a divine plan of goodness for my work.
13. As I listen to the creator within, I am led.
14. As I listen to my creativity I am led to my creator.
15. I am willing to create.
16. I am willing to learn to let myself create.
17. I am willing to let God create through me.
18. I am willing to be of service through my creativity.
19. I am willing to experience my creative energy.
20. I am willing to use my creative talents.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

Rainy days and Tuesdays always get me ... well? Not down (like Mondays - heh). But maybe introspective and cozy.

I've been thinking about thinking. Thinking about spirit, soul and body, and how thoughts operate in each realm. This is just musing from a perspective of what I've learned so far (but truly feel like I know so little), so it isn't meant to be an authoritative voice. I'm just sorting things out for my own sake and happened to see a photo that illustrated it and thus I'm sharing!

SPIRIT and THOUGHT: I believe our spirits hear from God's Spirit and reflect to us the things of the spirit world and truth. When guidance or knowledge or wisdom break through, I see that as a function of our spirit man ... thinking like God thinks, learning the ways of God, making what we meditate on in God's Word real in our lives. The challenge? Quieting the rest of the influences enough to hear that still, small voice.

John 14:26 (NIV) 

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, 

whom the Father will send in my name, 

will teach you all things 

and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

SOUL and THOUGHT: Mind, will and emotion are at play here. This is where things get filtered, interpreted, tinted and maybe even generated based on what we think, desire and feel. I think it is a dangerous place where what we see and perceive (two different things) seem to feed information to us that can be entirely opposite of truth. The challenge here? Harnessing the mind and training it to think on the things that are good, true, right, etc.

Romans 12:2 (NIV) 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, 

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--

his good, pleasing and perfect will.

BODY and THOUGHT: My recent fascination with neuroscience has brought some interesting possibilities. Some theories state that by the time a thought becomes what we would call our own thought in the conscious mind, it has already been decided in the brain before we are aware. In that sense, the "machine" of the mind feeds us thought as if it were our own. But the interesting point is that all the neural connections and learning and direction comes from the past ... everything already experienced. And it goes beyond past experience. Nutrition, medication, etc. all play a role in how the physical brain functions. I find it very interesting that many cases of mental health have been "solved" by changing diets.

Add another interesting element ... it seems that our science is advancing to the point where it can show that our thoughts bring things to pass. And those who can focus their thoughts are the happiest of them all. To me, that simply explodes all over the Bible! It's hard to limit my thoughts to just one verse!

The challenges in this area? To treat the body as God's temple (because it is), retrain the mind according to God's future instead of our past, and learn to focus on what will bring us into the best future.

Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life,
to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, 

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

1 Timothy 4:14a,15 (International Standard Version)

Do not neglect the gift that is in you ... Think on these things. 

Devote your life to them so that everyone can see your progress.

Light

Profound in wisdom
The Spirit leads me to Light
My soul is at peace

Tasting Stars

From a delightful Marry Poppins themed birthday party for my friend's daughter, Ava (who has grown into such a lovely little six year old, by the way), I saw the curiosity, determination, delight, and even frustration on the faces of the children all lined up to see who could eat their gingerbread stars fastest without hands. 

Of course, a life lesson jumped from the children's endeavors.  Opportunities come and they look both exciting and daunting. What do we do with it? Jump in with gusto? Ponder strategies before setting in? Secretly try and get along faster (dare I say cheat)? Or maybe wait a bit unsure of our abilities or to watch others for clues? 

And when the initial excitement has passed and you've still got an uneaten star in front of you while others are dancing to the cheery music ... do you give up? 

The most lovely moment I witnessed was a loving parent encouraging a son. His face was full of tears while the line bobbed up and down and the cookie danced before him, just out of reach. The parent gently guided him, told him he could do it, and urged him not to give up. Standing right there with him, the strength was what he needed.

Hopefully we all have those people standing with us. However, even if we can't see anyone around us, there are still two who are ALWAYS available. God and you. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (AMP) Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another
and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.

Hebrews 13:5b (AMP) ... for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you
nor give you up nor leave you without support.
[I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless
nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]

1 Samuel 30:6b (AMP) .... But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

The Month of Me

I have been doing a lot of thinking. And a little bit of action - or inaction - or taking action to create inaction. That may not make sense unless you are a hermit!  LOL. I am attempting to be a hermit for just a month. And it is more challenging than I thought it would be. Then again, it may just be me that is more challenging. If I would ignore everyone, I could be a hermit. But my heart doesn't quite allow me to do that. Instead, I have decided that when anything is asked of me, I will say a compassionate no and inform them of my "month of me" and hopefully keep going.  Needless to say, I have been a bit of a whimp! LOL. BUT ... anything that I do respond to and allow it to take my time would be classified as something I consciously choose to do ... not under compulsion.